Lazy Ballroom Dancing

So. I am taking ballroom dancing classes. It's super fun! Well, for everyone else. I fall. A lot. Like in every lesson. and I am less than graceful. What in the hell convinced me that this was a good idea? It is unfathomable to me. Apparently, I had a momentary lapse in judgement, where i forgot that i don't like to be touched, don;t like groups of people, don't like people watching me. am clumsy, can't remember anything, and when i am anxious because of all of these, i stiffen up and dance even more poorly. i went to a open house type party and saw everyone dancing and had a couple glasses of sangria, after witch i had visions of myself being beautiful and graceful. like this:

happiness, and spinning, and rainbows, and stars and music and perfectness. instead, my dancing is like this:



 yeah. my poor instructor must wonder why he got stuck with a clumsy dinosaur to try to teach dance steps to. i know he gets frustrated. maybe I'll just eat him.

Lazy Black Friday

So. Black Friday. or as it'd better know to those of us who have worked retail, one day of pure, unadluterated hell

i stayed far, far away. instead, i visited the family again. and again, was attacked by the force of their perfectness

even as dinos. they are perfect. ick.

 also. im pretty sure some of those black friday people are zombies. and zombies are dangerous. whats your plan for the zombie apocalypse? mine looks something like this:

click to enlarge

also, im pretty sure that if zombies came, so would dinosaurs. some would come to help us fight the war. others however, would be zombies too. this would possibly be the most dangerous creature ever ever forever, so i have done an amture sketch of what one may look like, so that you know when to run

if you see something even reselbling this run! run as if you have all the happiness and rainbows and kitties and puppies and unicorns in the world to protect! except you'll probably be dead. so bad news for the happiness, rainbows, kitties, puppies, and unicorns. because of you, they are gone. you should just let yourself get eaten.

Lazy Turkey Day

so first i was all yay! turkey and good food, except my family dosent like turkey so we eat ham which is soooo much tastier so i like to call it pig day but that dosent sound as nice.

so anyway. this thanksgiving we are spending at my dad's sister's with all of her good-looking skinny well dressed family and i show up like this, pretty much.

terrible? no. tacky when compared to my horribly preppy cousin and his perfect wife and perfect child?

well yes i just look like a bum. and while the "adults" (which by the way. i am expected to be one of) are chatting about the latest presidential whosywhat and it's effect on whatsis, i am off in a corner, drawing. like this:

i lovelovelove dinosaurs. but they dont understand this. whenever i'm included into the conversation it goes something like this:

real adult: so katie, what's your take on the new thingyamagig policy that will hysteriamernate 85% of all conservativamatrons?

me: dinosaurs! what? oh. um. it's bad?

real adult: how can you say that?! i'm going to smack you with my walking stick made from a unicorn horn!!!

me: but i like unicorns! how dare you kill these magical creatures for your walking purposes.

then we engage in a epic battle of waspy politeness untill i have had enough of the "adultness" and explode into a dino loving unicorn portecting moster of fury but also of cuteness and happiness cause that what unicorns and dinos are.

and then they shun me and make me leave beacuse im scaring the children but all im really trying to do is enlighten then to the awesomeness that is (are?) dinosaurs and unicorns. also zombies. but they're not as cute.

also. i missed ham. cause this side of the family actually has turkey. so at first i was like

and then i was like

so. unicorns and dinosaurs had to be defended, i looked like a bum next to my uber preppy (but sweet) family, and no ham. sad day.